Tips For Making Divorce Easier On Your Kids
Going through a divorce, even with the help of a good lawyer, can be tough. However, many parents forget how difficult a divorce can be for children, too. Kids often feel angry, sad, uncertain or even guilty when they find out their parents are separating.
Helping your children deal with divorce means you’ll need to spend extra time caring for their needs and offering stability. It’s often a tricky process, but at The Koblin Family Law Center in Pleasanton, California, we have the knowledge and experience you seek.
Don’t expect the process to be smooth or seamless, but with these helpful tips, you can make the time of transition a bit easier on your kids:
Tip #1 – Talk to your children about the divorce together.
Discussing divorce with kids can be tough, but it’s easiest when both parents sit down and talk with the children together. Make sure that you tailor the discussion to fit the temperament, maturity and age of your children.
Tip #2 – Avoid talking negatively about each other.
Remember, the issues between you and your spouse need to stay between the two of you. Avoid talking bad to your kids about your spouse. It’s important to present a united front to your children. This isn’t the time to start the blame game.
Tip #3 – Don’t make the kids choose sides.
Don’t make your children choose sides when you’re going through the divorce. The goal is to help them understand that you both are there for them. Making kids choose one parent over the other only tears the family apart further, making it more difficult. It can also be psychologically damaging to the children, because they naturally share certain qualities and personality traits with both parents.
Tip #4 – Remind them that it’s not their fault.
Many kids feel like a divorce is their fault, so you need to make sure your kids know that they are not to blame for the split. Let them know that you both love them, that it isn’t about anything they did wrong, and that you’ll still be taking good care of them, even if you’re no longer married.
Tip #5 – Help the kids express their feelings.
Divorce may feel like an irreparable loss to your children. Kids often feel like they are losing the life they loved or like they are losing a parent. Let your children express their feelings. Listen when they want to share, help them express themselves and acknowledge their emotions. In some cases, professional counseling may be helpful.