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Why couples counseling isn’t always successful

On Behalf of | Mar 12, 2023 | Divorce

Most marriages start out strong. Then, after a few months or years, the honeymoon phase washes away and the true colors of a relationship show, which can make or break a marriage. With that said, it can take years before problems in marriage may lead to divorce considerations. Under these circumstances, many couples start investing in counseling to seek resolutions.

Couples counseling can greatly benefit marriages. It often provides a safe place for couples to talk about their issues in front of a mediator, someone who can see the relationship from an outsider’s view and interpret the causes of marital difficulties. A counselor can potentially provide ways to improve the relationship and, hopefully, steer it away from divorce.

Unfortunately, divorce can still happen after months or years of couples counseling. If you’re struggling with a lack of progress in your counseling situation, you are certainly not alone. There are a few common causes as to why couples counseling may fail.

Fault is a tricky concept

It can sometimes be hard to admit when you’re at fault for something, especially in a marriage. For marriage therapy to work, people often have to be accountable for issues they cause. If a spouse refuses to believe they’ve caused a problem, then it could lead to long-term resentment with the other and lead to unsuccessful sessions.

There are hidden reasons for marital issues

While therapy is supposed to provide a safe environment for open communication, it doesn’t always turn out that way. A marriage may be falling apart because a spouse doesn’t want to reveal the real reason there are issues, and counseling may not reveal the cause. For some people, that could simply be because they’ve suffered trauma that’s complicating their relationship with their spouse and need to seek individual therapy. Others may be hiding ulterior motives.

A spouse is no longer interested or seeing someone else

It’s always difficult for a spouse to find that their partner is no longer interested in them or is having another relationship with someone else. At the end of the day, if only one spouse is invested in a marriage and that reality is not going to change, all the counseling in the world is not going to help.

If marriage counseling isn’t working for your marriage, then it may be time to consider your legal options. Seeking legal guidance can be helpful as you figure out the healthiest ways to move forward.