It’s very natural to feel emotional when your spouse asks for a divorce. You may not have seen it coming. You may have worried about it but never thought it would actually go this far.
But the bigger complication is just that it’s a major change in your life. This is why divorce can even be difficult for people who know that it is 100% the best option for them in their situation. They want to get divorced, but it’s still a big change, and that can still make it hard to get over their ex.
The critical first year
Researchers have studied the emotional impact of divorce or the end of a long-term relationship, and they have generally found that the first year is very important. The majority of your mental and emotional healing will occur then. They say that the longest of these types of things usually take is two years.
This can sound like a long time, especially to someone who is just leaving a relationship. But 24 months can go by a lot faster than you think, especially when the majority of your emotional healing has already happened in the first 12 months. This is always hardest at the beginning, but you will slowly adapt to the change and get used to this new stage in your life.
Can you make it go faster?
Some people suggest dating a new individual in order to make you get over your ex faster. It’s different for everyone. For some people, starting a new relationship helps them focus on the positives and get over their ex. For others, it just means another failed relationship because they’re not emotionally at a place to start a new one yet.
Only count after the divorce is official
One thing that sometimes makes it feel like it takes a long time to get over your previous relationship is when you’re mentally counting the months or even years in which the relationship wasn’t working, before you got divorced.
This can make you feel like you’ve been dealing with it for three years, for instance, when you’ve actually only been divorced for six months. If you can simply focus on the time since the end of your marriage, it won’t seem as daunting and you can see the progress that you’re making a lot more easily.
If you have any questions or concerns about the divorce process, it’s crucial to take the time to consider all of your legal options.