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Protecting children during a divorce

On Behalf of | Feb 2, 2016 | Divorce

California parents who are going through a divorce might be concerned about how the experience will affect their children. Though it is impossible to completely shelter children from being affected by a breakup, there are ways parents can show their children how important they are and make the whole process just a little bit easier.

At the outset of a divorce, the children might feel that they are to blame for the split. Parents should reassure the children often that they are not at fault for the situation, make it clear to them that the neither of the parents is divorcing them and remind them of how much the parents love them. And one way to do this is for the adults to manage their own feelings and developing a co-parenting plan that centers around the needs of the children first. Part of successful co-parenting is not speaking badly about the children’s other parent, since children might internalize this and interpret it as a reflection on them as well.

The divorce process can also often be a very emotionally intense period. Children, like their parents, experience a wide-range of emotions related to the process. Parents should respect and be empathetic of their children’s feelings during this time. During and after a divorce, parents should also be careful of falling into the habit of using their children as messengers between them, or even worse, as spies of the ex-spouse’s new life, particularly since this puts the children into an even more emotionally frayed environment.

During a divorce, couples have a lot to deal with. With children, their emotional needs become one of the priorities. A parent who is in this situation may want to have a family law attorney deal with the applicable legal issues.